Validation

A few weeks ago, I posted a quote about being good at more than one thing (To read about it, click here). Basically, what the quote says is that, just because you excel at one thing, doesn't mean you can't excel at other things as well.

By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I had made a name for my self as that-singer-chick. I was once stopped from crossing the street by some classmates who had heard me sing. They refused to let me cross the street until I sang "Stairway to Heaven" for them. Incidents like this, combined with accolades like being the only freshman and then sophomore from my school to go to All State Choir, and as a junior, being the fourth person ever to go to All State Jazz Choir from my town pretty much made me feel that singing was my destiny. This idea was further affirmed by people coming up to me and telling me that singing was my destiny.

No pressure.

More than that, being considered so good at one thing, people were always surprised to find that I could do other things, and sometimes reluctant to think of me in any other light. This was not always the case, but occurred often enough to make an impression. But after two years of being steered into other people's ideas of what my musical life should look like, I began to lose my taste for the lifestyle.

When I left college, I felt like a failure. I had been put on this earth to sing, and I was turning my back on that. I tried a few paths out (teaching, English, bartending) but nothing really fit. My failures here seemed to confirm for me that I was cursed so long as I abandoned music.

When my dad died, things kind of got put in perspective. My dad made a career of doing what was expected. He, too, had many talents. His academic and career path has more branches than mine. He went to school for teaching...and he taught Spanish for a few years. Then he decided that wasn't what he wanted to do, so he went back to school, this time to pursue a law degree. Half way through, he realized that he really enjoyed his science classes, so he went on to med school instead of law school. He became a psychiatrist and was very well respected in his field. He was also a devoted husband and father.

What is left out of this picture? He was a great poet. And he painted beautifully. He had a lovely singing voice and played several instruments. Everyone told him he was an academic, but I think he was secretly an artist. Maybe suppressing this inner calling contributed to him ending his life. I can't say for sure, but I know that he would have resonated with the idea that you can be good at more than one thing.

So why is this long-winded post titled "Validation?" Because that's what I got this week. Since I moved back home and started back in school, I've chosen a totally different career path. I'm studying mass communications, and I really enjoy it. More than that, though, I've found that I'm pretty good at it!

This past week, one of my professors (who I have only spoken to a couple of times since being in her class last semester) sent me an email saying that she had an internship that would be perfect for me. She said I was the first person she thought of. I was touched and excited.

But it gets better...

I emailed the head of my department to ask if he would support my decision to apply for the internship, and he echoed the sentiment that I would be a perfect fit. Really? TWO of my professors think this highly of me?

No. Three of them do.

Today, while meeting with professor number one, a third professor popped his head in the door and offered his two cents. He said, and I quote, that I am, "awesome-sauce." If I ever write a book, that review is going on the jacket.

Told ya, validation. Three professors think that I am perfect for this job and are excited to see me succeeding. To me, this is proof that I can be good at more than one thing. That is a powerful realization.

The internship in question may not be a perfect fit, but it's a step. And more than that, having the support of my department proves that, even if this isn't the right thing for me, I don't have to be a singer to be successful. This gives me renewed hope that I can and will find my passion! Thanks, Mass Comm. Department for the much needed ego boost!

Using the past to empower the future

Music school left me feeling very bitter. About school. About friends. About music. When I dropped out I swore off music and all the things in my life that reminded me of the time I spent there. This was short lived, but even now, almost three years later, I still have a slightly bitter taste in my mouth when I talk about that time in my life.

Although I have yet to truly reembrace music (and I'm not sure that I will ever want the same things I wanted then), I have occasionally tested the waters. I spent some time gigging in my home town, and for a while I thought that I wanted to be a musician after all. I liked the attention and the praise, but I still really hated the lifestyle. And treating music as a business took away all of the joy and the art. So I swore off music again.

I have sung in public four times in the past two years. And yet, I still have people come up to me on an almost daily basis to compliment me on my voice. If I had a nickel for everytime someone told me, "I remember when you sang at [fill in the blank]" I would...have a lot of nickels.

For a long time, this recognition made me sad. I felt that the Universe was trying to guilt me back into music. Then, in periods where I have felt underappreciated, these comments lifted me back up, riding on my former glory. Neither of these feelings represent a healthy approach to the past.

I'm in this class right now all about careers (no wonder the subject is on my brain). Most weeks we have guest speakers. This past week, our guest was a representative from the local library system. She made her job sound awesome. It was a great talk, and it made me think that I might want to work for the library some day. Let it also be said, that I have a similar reaction to all of the speakers, "I could do that!" Optimism is great, but this isn't really a career epiphany. What I really took away from the library spokeswoman were the names she mentioned.

During her presentation she mentioned the names of several people that she works with. I knew every person she was talking about, not because they were local celebrities (although some of them certainly are), but because I have had personal interactions with them. The really important part about this is how I knew each of these people. They were all connections I had made as a singer. I thought to myself, I could probably talk to that person and use them as a reference.

Aside from the possibility of getting a job at the library (cool by itself), this gave me a valuable lesson. Use your past to empower your future. OK, I may never classify myself as a musician again, but I don't have to disown that part of my past. I can use the experiences and the connections from that time to create opportunities in my future. If people already know me and like me because of my voice, then they will be more receptive to liking me for other skills. So there you have it, never discount even the bad parts of your past, because none of them are entirely bad.

Devil's Advocate

Let it never be said that I am not open to other points of view. Ok...I'll admit I'm pretty stubborn and I don't take contradictory advice very well all the time, but part of this soul-searching mission is about expanding myself and being open to new ideas. So here goes...

While I was out roaming the blogosphere, I came across this post by Penelope Trunk. In her blog post, Penelope states loud and clear, "Forget the soul search; just do something." I felt a little stung by the directness of this post, as if Ms. Trunk was aiming it specifically at me.

But I didn't get scared and run away, I read the post and kept my mind open to what she had to say on the matter. She had some excellent points and some good advice.

One thing that I found particularly important was the idea that soul-searching takes too long. Discovering ones' self is a life-long and ever-changing process, so waiting for the end result of that search before pursuing a career is pointless. You'd die before you ever attempted to do something with your life. I have to say, she's got a point there.

So how do I balance this advice with my own mission? Compromise. It is important to know that I will never have a definitive answer to the question, "Who are you?" (see my earlier post here), but that doesn't mean I should stop asking the question. Tuning into yourself every once in a while is important. It is easy to lose sight of what you want in this world when you allow yourself to get swept up in action all the time. That being said, thought without action is equally unsuccessful.

Penelope Trunk's blog post urges readers to get out there and just try a few things. A "bad" career decision is still a useful tool in self-discovery. By having experiences we don't enjoy, we learn more about our likes and dislikes. These experiences, then, inevitably lead us towards more successful experiences in the future (so long as we take care to actually learn from our mistakes, and don't simply repeat them).

Another point that Trunk addresses that I found encouraging was the statement that each person has many selfs. At any given time, there are multiple things that motivate us, and multiple careers that could bring fulfillment. She sights the statistic that most people nowadays change careers every eighteen months. As your tastes change, or a different motivation rises to the surface, go with it.

One last gem that I want to share is this. Trunk says that you need to get your toes wet. Try careers out, take the leap, and if you don't like the result, "reframe your landing pad as just a stepping stone." When I left music school, I felt like my life was over. I had failed, my passion was dead, going on was futile. But if I allow myself to reframe that experience as just another stepping stone in my life, then I can take away the valuable lessons I learned (like how I didn't want the insecurity of a musicians life - see here for more on that).

Even though her argument is directly at odds with my philosophy, Trunk's arguments for action seem not to contradict, but to compliment my continued search. (Am I still being stubborn?)

Food for thought.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/12/14/how-to-avoid-work/?fb_action_ids=10151409408631514&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=246965925417366

Above is a link to an article one of my professors posted. This article summarizes and quotes some of the advice given in a self-help career book from 1949 titled, "How to Avoid Work." The idea here is that work is bad, career passion is good.

There are lots of great quotes from the book, as well as similar advice from people like John Cleese and Neil Gaiman, among others.

One idea in particular struck me. You may be familiar with this trick. The book suggests a "what if?" scenario. The question it poses is, "What would you do if money were no object?" I don't have an answer for this right now, but I will definitely be giving it some thought.

Another particularly powerful point was the view offered on time. To summarize the author, William J. Reilly, everyone in the world has the exact same amount of time in each day. The difference in productivity, success and happiness has nothing to do with the amount of time we have, but the way in which we utilize that time. So much for the "I don't have enough time," excuse.

The article is long and offers oodles of useful information, so I will be rereading it several times myself. I suggest that you do the same! Even if you are happy in your career now, applying some of the self-checks offered in this article can help you make sure that you stay on the right career path for you!